I hear people talking about how unhappy they are in their current jobs all the time or how they can’t trust anyone around them or afraid that someone would throw them under the bus in some situations or circumstances…
Do we ever think why those people are not happy or why it is hard for them to trust others? Are they actually doing something about it or are they just complaining and/or blaming others. To get to the bottom of the real issue as to why this happens, we need to first address a very important factor and it’s fulfillment.
Since I was a little boy, I liked to do things for others. I’d share my candy with my friends. I’d gladly help someone with anything they needed. I just gave, gave and gave and never thought of what I’d gain in return – it felt so good. Until you get someone to tell you stop giving everything you have, stop helping for free, what are you getting in return. Those words aren’t helpful, they are distracting from doing good to others. Societies, schools, parents or partners – they restrict us from doing good without expecting something in return. Do we have to expect something in return and if we do does it have to be measurable, tangible or immediate? The satisfaction I get from doing something for someone is so fulfilling that it makes me feel I did something good for myself. That smile I see on someone’s face is exactly what I need in return – it can even increase my self-confidence.
You might wonder why I am talking about this and how is it related to work? Studies say that if we go to work just to do our job, we end up leaving work unfulfilled. We feel that our day lacked something, lacked the satisfaction factor and we end up with different feelings that lead us to complain about the job we have and are then more likely to make a change.
Well, let me ask you this; have you tried to open the door for someone, hold the elevator or make a coffee for your co-worker while you are making one for yourself – how did it feel? See, self-confidence does not come from within, it comes from what we project on others and what others project on us. We feel confident when we hear someone say “good job, well done, thanks for doing this”. Those things didn’t happen by themselves, we did something positive that we got cheered for and most of the time if not always we were recognized not just for doing something, it’s for being part of something. It’s the team effort, the joined effort that lead us to achieve something.
It’s that human interaction that we crave – those emotions are important and if we lose them, we lose the interest in our job, in what we do and even the interest in getting out of bed every morning. We’ve replaced those good emotions with headphones, money, we replace our time and energy, with a promise. When a friend does something for us, we should remember to do something good back for them. We don’t just promise that we’ll and never come around to do it – that’s how we lose trust.
The best part is when we do something good for others, we will inspire people to do something good for other people. It’s contagious, it will grow organically and it feels so good at the end of the day. That’s the power of fulfillment. That’s what makes us wake up in the morning, get to work and do our job. It’s not just for us, it’s for others and guess what it builds trust and that trust goes a long way. So, do you love what you do, are you getting the satisfaction out if it and do you feel confident that when you turn your back, you’ve got others that look out for you? Most importantly, do you feel fulfilled when you put your head on the pillow at the end of the day?
I was inspired by Simon Sinek who speaks on how to be fulfilled by your job and how companies can better support and inspire the people who work for them. “If we don’t love our work, we don’t look out for each other.” Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon Sinek is a trained ethnographer and brain behind Start With Why. He reminds us how important it is to be fulfilled by your job – and how companies can better support and inspire the people who work for them. Whether you’re just starting a new job or have been a CEO for decades, his words of wisdom will speak to everyone.
Here is a short version of his talk about fulfillment, please watch it, share it – I hope it will inspire and you can inspire others.